Creating a rhythm in life you love doesn’t come by accident. As a matter of fact, nothing happens by accident. We have all had moments in time that you wished would last forever. I certainly have. No one wakes up and says, “I wish some major catastrophic event would happen in my life that changes everything right now. ” We have created rhythms already in life we love. Changing them is not what we really want to do. Sometimes things are going along pretty smoothly and it can almost feel like everything is under your control.
Remember the phrase “expect the unexpected?” We create rhythms in life to keep order. Valleys are scary and mountain top experiences usually don’t last over the long haul. We prefer smooth level roads to travel on.
Looking for a smooth ride
Yes, that is exactly what I am looking for. I want everyone to get along and I don’t want a lot of surprises along the way. Unless they are really good surprises. Not the painful ones, but the truth really is, painful ones come. Being prepared for those kinds of events can be difficult, but it doesn’t mean we can’t adjust. We are flexible and adaptable people. Creating a new rhythm can be possible and even rewarding.
Who Really Has The Control Here?
If you believe that God is in control of all things, and I do, then accidents do not happen. Can you think of times in your life when the very thing you prayed for did not happen? I can, and it often was such an incredible blessing as a result. Some things happen and they change our lives forever.
Everything that comes into our lives without an announcement is not a terrible thing. Nevertheless, it changes the rhythm that we loved. We can adjust and even learn to love life in the midst of changes.
All Surprises are Not Created Equal
Let’s be perfectly honest here, all surprises are not created equal. Finding out that you are having a baby is not quite the same as finding out you have lost a job. So, I do not want to downplay the devastating news that could be presented. It is said that more than one major event in life is more than we can handle.
- Death of a loved one
- Divorce
- Moving
- Major illness or injury
- Job loss
In the article, The Top Most Stressful Events in Life and How to Handle Them, Dr Francis Adan recommends preparing for stressful situations before they occur and take action. Finding out that I had breast cancer was a shock. I can’t even remember how many days it took for me to process that news. At first, I remember thinking, “They probably made a mistake.” Then as each part of the process revealed the confirmation of the diagnosis other thoughts began to creep in.
There is a whirlwind of thoughts that start to bombard the mind at this stage. You just want it to be over. Then as the truth settles in, a plan formulates in your mind and a new rhythm in life is starting to take over.
The Journey Begins
There is great comfort in knowing what your day holds, right? There is also comfort in writing out plans and goals, or even going on a trip you have dreamed about. Remember how long a journey seems when you start. The road going seems so long. It can seem like you will never arrive at your destination.
The beginning of a journey always feels long and laborious. Especially one that is unexpected and not necessarily fun. That is how I have felt about this journey of breast cancer. It seems like it would never end. Yet, I know that it will, one way or another. My surgery went well and I do have a final day of completion for chemotherapy. I am done with radiation. There is an end to this with a great outcome.
This past year could have left me bitter and feeling like things are out of control, but I have not been bitter. That does not mean I haven’t felt like things are out of control. You guys know I am a big planner. I love my bullet journal. I talk a lot about it in my blog. Journaling is my way of sorting things out. The bullet journal is just one way I do that. You can read about it here. Part of journaling and keeping a calendar is looking at the days, weeks, and years making plans. Getting stuck in your plans can be a problem too.
No surprise to me
Thinking that we have everything under control can really make havoc on the rhythms of our lives. It should come as no surprise to any of us that we feel like things are spiraling out of control at moments in time. It can be a revelation or it can be a chance to change the way we think. In March when I was told I had breast cancer my first thought was not that I can beat this or that this is going to be easy because I have God on my side. No, it was more like, how am I going to manage this. Really, isn’t that kind of crazy. I never once thought about dying. It seemed like my life was going to spiral out of my control and it did. It has been 11 months since that diagnosis.
Proverbs 16:9 (ESV): 9 The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps. King Solomon
Guess what, I don’t have anything under my control. I live with other humans, so I definitely don’t have anything under control. The best thing about that realization is, it’s okay. I know that I really don’t need to have it under control or even have it all together. No one knows what tomorrow holds, but what I do have control of is how I live.
a new rhythm can be one you love
There are times in life that our rhythms change. You know that sometimes these changes makes us grieve. I remember breastfeeding my last baby. She was a pleasure from the moment she was born. I also knew she was my last one. So, for that reason I enjoyed her. Creating a rhythm that I loved was important. Enjoying her was going to have to be a new way of life. Slowing down and enjoying this last baby.
This diagnosis of breast cancer has made it very difficult to keep up the pace I normally keep. With four children that are grown I stay pretty busy. The rhythms I used to keep had to change. I ernestly believe that God allowing me to have cancer gave me a chance to slow down and enjoy some different things.
What was meant for evil God meant for good
That verse that says we can plan, but God orders our steps, is true. We can do all the arrange of our schedules and plan we want to. Then God allows something really big and devestating to happen, but He doesn’t mean it for evil like some may think. He often allows it for our good.
Ways I Have Been Blessed
- People that I do not even know have told me they are praying for me.
- Spending evenings with my husband has been a joy.
- Reading God’s word and knowing He is taking care of me has been comforting.
- Meals that were prepared in love during the most difficult times was such a blessing
- Hearing from my children and knowing they love me is immeasurable.
- Friends from all over the world have written, sent cards, books and prayers.
This time, as I look back has been more of a blessing than a curse. Yes, I have changed the rhythms of my days, and weeks. Going daily to radiation and every three weeks to chemotherapy is a major pain. My desire to paint, read, and sew is just not there right now, but, it will come back. For now, I am resting in knowing that God is in control. I am enjoying this new rhythm and looking forward to the day treatments that don’t totally control my agenda.
Genesis says “What others meant for evil God meant for good.” I beleive those words. So often the devil will strike us with some event that is unbearable, but when we come out on the other side we look back and remember God was there all the time. We are never alone. Honestly, I forget that sometimes and some faithful friend will remind me, you never walk alone. Maybe a new rhythm will have to be developed, but you are never alone and new pace or rhythm is just what we need sometimes.
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