Marriage is About Companionship

Reconnecting with your husband may seem like a silly thing to be doing. Especially since you live with them. The truth is a relationship can become very disconnected. It can be busy and very intentional, but not necessarily focusing on the two people that started the relationship out in the beginning.

I have been where you are right now.  I raised four children. Each child was strong willed. They were all multi-talented. All of them had unique personalities. Along with those unique personalities came different areas of activities they participated in. They liked different academics and sports. We had a very busy season of life, making sure all of their needs were met, and doing the things parents do, providing for their children.

My husband and I recognized this and attempted to encourage each one in their own direction. Sometimes this involved a little conquer and divide. We just couldn’t be at all places all the time. There were days that were crazy and chaotic.

No Real Time Together

I felt like I saw my husband just in passing. Even meals were often focused on our four children and it was good. Our life raising them was very very good.

Then came the empty nest. Our family returned to being just husband and wife. Now this wasn’t a bad things at all. We just found that our life was suddenly different.

Even the very best of relationships need maintenance and care.

Reconnect with your husband.  Make maintenance, care and nurturing part of your plan.

Why Do I Need To Reconnect

Maybe your are thinking that you never really disconnected. The truth is when you are raising children and keeping a family running, your life partner is not always your first priority.  There are a million little moments in life that ebb away at our relationship.

I am not saying the needs of your spouse were not being met. If you are like we were, moments of being with each other and really considering one another were far apart and few. So maybe reconnecting with your husband after the empty nest is something  to consider.

If all of your conversations centered around your children and home you may find yourself looking for things to talk about again.

Reconnect With Your Husband

Everyone can use a little refresher on how to reconnect with your husband, right?  All relationships can get stale and need a little rekindling.  The fact is, a lot happens in  38 years and from 1984 to 2020 the  focus was not on our relationship.  My relationship with my husband is important to me so what can I do to reconnect with my husband?

Take a little inventory of your life with your husband right now. Ask yourself, could we use a little bit of fun and conversation. Should we take some time for each other and enjoy the relationship that means the most to me.

Ask Some Questions

• Ask some questions that do not involve, “Did you pick up paper towels on your way home?”

This is seriously a problem.  If this was your very best friend in the world would you ask that question. No, you would ask about their day, the news, anything interesting happening in their universe.  There is nothing intimate or caring in asking if you got milk. Do you like to be asked, “WHAT’S FOR SUPPER?” That question puts me in a really bad mood. A really good question is the beginning of a really good conversation.  Talking intimately offers the chance to reignite a flame, a love affair, a life long friendship.

Here is a list of 10 Questions To Ask Your Husband in a non-threatening way. Just click on the link for a very small list that hopefully can lead to many other discussions.

Cook

• Cook Something That He Really Does Love

Take the time to cook something that you both love.  Joey and I  have been married a long time. Over the years mealtime was about getting supper on the table.  Now is the chance to make it something a little more fun and intimate. I don’t know about you, but good food can be anyone’s love language.  Having a well prepared candlelight dinner is just romantic and intimate.  Even in your own home. The days of serving macaroni and cheese every night are over.  You can look at this time as special. See this as the chance to reconnect with your husband. Sitting down at the supper table uninterrupted is a new pleasure for both of you. It is a chance to have good food and good conversation.

Bedtime Routine Is Not Just For Kids

• Make Bedtime More Intentional

What does that mean? Bedtime routines are not just for kids. When our children were home bedtime was ALL about them.  It’s time to make this part of the day about you and your spouse. Bedtime does not have to feel rushed. It can be another time of the day to reconnect with your husband. Make a plan for the evening. After the dinner and conversation make a plan time to talk some more. Let the conversation go where it may.  We are not children anymore.  Sometimes making a plan is a really smart thing to do, even in the bedroom.

Be Engaging, and Listen

Have you ever heard the saying that “Listening is a small act of kindness”? Listening is an art. One most people do not strive too much for anymore. The act of listening may seem simple, but to really hear and accept what another person is saying shows real love.

We are often not really engaged in what the other person is saying. We have developed some habits that do not allow us to really pay attention to someone and hear what they are saying.

Like ear buds and headphones, as well as just scrolling though screened images on our electronics. Listening takes time and patience. We actually think faster than the other person speaks and sometimes we would rather fill in for them! This is not really engaging.

If you were trying to impress someone that matters, you would be engaging. What does being engaged mean exactly?  One way of being engaged is showing interest. When you listen and show true interest that is engaging.  Showing that the other person matters to you and the conversation you are having matters.  We were really good at in our younger days. Remember gazing fondly into your husbands eyes, hanging on their every word. You might be laughing at yourself right now thinking about that. It’s not that we don’t know how to show that our interest.  I think we have just got lazy and do not want to.  Doing something as worthwhile as listening and smiling can give back big rewards.

Do you need a little something to jump start the process?  Is thinking of somethings to talk about a little hard? Well I made a list of 10 questions just to get you started. They may not be exactly the ones you are looking for, but the questions might help get you started. Click the link and get download your very own PDF with a few starter questions. Sometimes all you need is a little starter fluid.

10 Questions To Ask Your Husband

Everyone needs a little help. Maintenance and restorative care are part of marriage. You have invested a lot in this relationship. So reconnecting and restoring is also important. The empty nest is not a bad time in your life it is just a different time. Enjoy it and find the pleasure of a healthy marriage again.

Asking a few key questions and listening to the answers is the beginning. Going back to the way a family started is a good thing. It means you have done what you were supposed to do and now is the reward.

You are being offered a chance to renew your relationship and begin the next phase.

Start the conversation with this list of 10 questions. Pick and choose or make it a game.  It is up to you how to use them. This may spark a special time and you can make your own. Hit the Download button and enjoy your time together.

Download your list