How Much Do You Need to Know About Fear

How much do you need to know about fear, just enough to get by or really understand fear and where it is coming from? My answer would probably be that we need to understand where it is coming from.

We discussed this question during my sisterhood group last week and I have been thinking about this ever since that night. We all have probably had fear at some point in our lives. Even if it was momentary like someone stopping suddenly in their car while you were not paying close attention. Then there are other times we may be fearful.

Another example could be walking in the wilderness and realizing you could come upon a situation that is dangerous, for instance, a bear and her cubs. That kind of fear may not last very long. How much do you need to know about fear, everything? If you don’t learn what you are afraid of it will continue to control your life.

Healthy fear, we need to know about healthy fear

Those situations create a healthy fear. That kind of fear puts your body on alert. It creates a tension that makes you pay attention. If you had to run, your run would be fast and furious. Fear for survival can be critical, but the truth is we are not cavemen anymore and the need for this type of healthy fear is infrequent and should be short.

Healthy fear makes us more attentive. It can offer us special momentary strength and alerts us to things we may not usually notice. Fear can prevent us from harm.

Healthy fear and joy in the God of our salvation not only can go together but must. We will never find joy in God while willingly and habitually living in unconfessed sin.

Alexander Stewart, Professor, Tyndale Theological Seminary

Here Professor Stewart reminds us that fear can also motivate us to stay away from dangerous situations and doing things that are contrary to God’s word. Having a healthy fear of God’s judgment is a good thing. I have a friend that grew up with four brothers. They were all older than her except for one. She tells a story of them waiting for their father to come because the promise of a spanking was coming when he got there. Their mother forewarned them of their punishment. The only sister watched this play out a few times over a lifetime.

She said she thought to herself, “I don’t want to disappoint my dad and I certainly don’t want a spanking when he gets home.” Our fear of God’s judgment should be similar. He loves us with a pure heart and we should hope to go before Him with a pure heart. Fear can be a motivating factor in this as well.

Unhealthy fear

When does that fear cross the line? How easily do we slip into unhealthy fear? We talked about fear and how it can be necessary. There is something in us that turns on during stressful situations. That inner being with fear attached to it is good at times, but it can easily become a problem if not kept in control by the Father.

A good question to ask yourself when you feel fear is what motivates my feelings of fear. Did this fear just pop up out of nowhere or am I in a situation that I need it for the moment. Usually fear for a moment in time protects us from uncertain danger. The fear that you have for momentary occasions should not last.

When fear becomes unhealthy we can experience tiredness, irritability, poor decision making, and a desire to withdraw from the world.

Fatigue, fear, and panic undermine our ability to think clearly and creatively, manage our relationships effectively, focus attention on the right priorities, and make smart, informed choices.

Tony Schwartz and Emily Pines
Managing Yourself   |   Coping with Fatigue, Fear, and Panic During a Crisis

What is motivating my fear

Asking yourself this question can help clarify what is going on in your head. Fear that is going to keep us safe or motivates us to do what is right in God’s eyes can be the very best thing for us, but fear that makes us angry and indecisive is not. Some of the unhealthy consequences of fear can lead to making terrible choices in life.

Can you list some unhealthy fears you have had over a lifetime, I can. Can I tell you a few of mine? Please feel free to share some of yours as well. One I think I carried for a very long time was that I would marry the wrong person, or that I would never marry at all. I was afraid that I wasn’t pretty enough or good enough. Having that kind of fear led to promiscuity and constant fear as a young adult and teenager.

Fear is a feeling

Fear of not living up to other’s exceptions was another weight I carried. This was not a fear my parents placed on me, it was one that I place on myself. The truth was if I couldn’t get it right ALL the time then I wasn’t even going to try that hard. I have fought perfection my whole life. Always fearing that my best was not enough. Fear of failing ties into that as well, but what I have learned from these feelings of fear, they can destroy any forward motion in life.

Asking yourself if your fear lingers and causes you to be indecisive is an important question. Looking clearly at the fear you may have and decide, what is the absolute worse thing that could happen.

Unhealthy fears are usually unrealistic and lie we have started to believe. We must learn to recognize an unhealthy fear. We need to recognize when fear helps to move us forward or when fear is incapacitating.

How Much Do You Need to Know About Fear

Fear is a feeling. It is something we can overcome. In my post Getting Past Being Afraid I talk about ways to move forward. When fear becomes incapacitating and you can’t move forward we need to look at what is going on.

Actions for moving past unhealthy fear

Now it doesn’t take long to realize there is not a bear in the room. I use that analogy because in today’s world we are rarely using the “Fight or Flight” reaction that comes from fear. The fight-or-flight response (also called hyperarousal or the acute stress response) is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.^[1] It’s a real response that can protect us from many things.

There are healthy things to help us move past being fearful. Let’s talk about a few of the ways to move forward.

Recognize the fear for what it is.

Is there something really here to be afraid of. The unknown is not something to be afraid of. As a matter of fact the Bible tells us that God even takes care of the lilies of the valley. Matthew 6:26-34 is a lovely picture of how much God cares for us and our value to Him.

Practice hearing the truth

Lies are easy to believe, especially when our fear meter starts to rise. Practice saying some verses out loud, The Word is truth and lies from the devil are not. God clearly tells us that we should not live under the spirit of fear. Listen to the Word on Audible or some other method of listening to the Word. It is transforming. No other book will transform you like The Word can.

Write it out

Write our what it is you are afraid of. This is the most effective way to see the lie and actually recognize the motivation for fear. Write out each fear and then evaluate it. You guys know how much I love my bullet journal. You can use it for everything. It is my calendar, by Sunday sermon notes keeper, phone number keeper, just about everything. I don’t go anywhere without it. You can read about it here. I write prayers out and I write crazy thoughts out. We have crazy thoughts sometimes. Fear can create crazy thoughts. Writing them out gives us the chance to look at them and really evaluate them.

Talk to someone

There is so much value in speaking to someone. If you need a professional to talk to make sure they are coming from a biblical foundation. Maybe you just need a friend. Everyone needs a safe friend to talk to. Saying things out loud can often show us how silly a fear maybe or how serious it maybe too.

Pray often and sing often

Praying and singing are acts of worship. They can be done all alone, between you and God. I often walk away with a renewed heart when I spend time in prayer and singing. God inhabits the hearts of His people. He can transform a feeling of fear. You have faith that is not removable. That is a gift given to you by God. Enjoy the gift. The Holy Spirit that dwells in a believer is also a gift. It is a divine being living in you. The Holy Spirit offers you guidance, encouragement, and even gives us words to pray when we can’t. No friend can do all of that for us.

How much about fear do you need to know

You need to know everything about fear. You need to know where it comes from, why you are having it, and how to deal with it. Moving forward in life is the only way to grow. Accept the fact that fear will come but the most important thing to remember is that when fear becomes a constant friend, he is no friend. Fear is not of God and recognizing that will help you to prepare and move forward.