How Do We Take Care Of What We Value?

What do we value? How do we know what is important to us? How do we take care of what we value?

My father in law grew up during the depression. I remember him telling us a story about a bicycle that he got for Christmas. He had two younger brothers. All of them got bicycles. Now a bike was a precious gift during that era.

He tells a story of taking great care of his bike. Bebo would wipe it down after riding it on the dusty roads in Marion County. He always put the bike away safely after a full day of riding and cutting some “wheelies.” The bicycle was of great value to him.

You Take Care Of What You Value

Now his two brothers were a different story. After just a few weeks their bicycles looked like they had been worn down completely. The tires were flat and the rims bent. Each night their bikes were thrown down somewhere on the dusty farm.

My father in law talked about how much he loved his bicycle. Years later recalling this memory you could still hear in his voice how much he valued that gift.

Now you might say that taking care of his bike was a result of the era he grew up in. It was the depression. His mother told us about waiting for your day to buy sugar at the store because it was rationed. So the times were different, but his brothers grew up in the same era and had no regard for their gifts like Bebo did.

What Do We Value ?

The day after Christmas this year the sun was bold and bright. It was the first day in many that the sun was shining. I headed over to the car wash. Guess what, I wasn’t the only one that thought about washing their car.

I waited in line for 25 minutes or so. Long enough to make some phone calls. Every vacuum center was full as well. The line behind me was just as long as the line in front of me. I imagine that the line was long all day. It just goes to show that people value their vehicles. Everyone was out taking care of something they valued.

Are We Taking Care Of The Right Things?

So I have been thinking about this question a lot. I have been asking myself, “What is really important to me?” Is their something that I value a lot, more than my car that I waited in line to clean? When I ask myself this question the answer is YES! For me the answer to that question involves relationships and people.

Relationships are Everything

My Marriage

I have already invested a lot in my marriage. To take care of a relationship is just as important as taking care of a bicycle or car. If neglected it can deteriorate. Just like a vehicle can. Marriages can become stale and rusty. So much so that you may not enjoy being with your spouse.

Since my marriage is a priority I want to take the time and effort to keep it full of life and love. What are some things we can do to take care of our marriage?

Somethings We Can Do To Take Care Of Our Marriage

1. Spend time together. Quality time doing things that are enjoyable.
2. Laugh together. Go to a concert, movie or something mindless and enjoy talking.
3. Walk. Did you know that exercise can make you see things differently? I am not talking about heavy cardio exercise, just taking a leisurely stroll in the park.
4. Hold hands. Physical touch is so important. When you have worked all day you just need the one you love to reach out and touch your hand or face. This is not sexual, it is just a compassionate stroke of the hand that says “I love you.”
5. Listen to what the other person has to say. I have learned that sometimes my husband just needs to vent and I do too. We don’t want solutions or answers, just a sounding board.
6. Offer words of encouragement. Express your love and gratitude for their companionship. Men love words of encouragement and so do women.
7. Be honest and open. Express yourself openly but with thoughtful words.

My Family

You remember that old saying,

You can choose your friends but you sho’ can’t choose your family, an’ they’re still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge ’em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don’t.”

― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

It is so true, you can not choose your family. My husband always reminds me that words can be said out loud that can never be taken back. I value my family, all of them and because I value them I want to take care of those relationships.

Now this might take a little more work and a lot more patience, but it is worth it. My opinion about something is far less important than keeping a good relationship with family. So how can we keep good relationships with our family?

1. Treat your family the way you treat your friends. I don’t know why we want to treat strangers better than we treat our family.
2. 2. Keep a sense of humor. Not everyone thinks the same way we do. We take ourselves too seriously.
3. Be gracious. Sometimes people are going through things that are private and can not be shared.
4. Do fun things together. Play waffle ball, go bowling or just play cards. Games can make time together a lot of fun
5. Avoid politics, religion and finances in the conversation.
6. Eat together. Everyone loves to get together and eat. Cook out, pick up pizza or just do ice cream cones. It is always a pleasure to get together and eat something.
7. Be honest and open in your conversation.

Value People

You can never go wrong putting the people in your life first. It is a principle I believe in strongly. Don’t get caught up in everything being perfect. If you want people to get together everything doesn’t have to be perfect.

Being Personally Mindful

I also believe we have to be personally responsible for our own thoughts and actions. Practice being grateful for your family, even the people that don’t seem to deserve it. Everyone needs a little grace and mercy at some point in life. Thinking about grace and realizing it maybe up to you to keep a relationship healthy might be necessary. You can do it though, I know you can. If you value your family and the relationship is important you will want to take care of it, right? Just like waiting in the line at the car wash to clean our vehicles is important.

Take the time to express love and admiration to your family. Nurture the relationships that are important to you and enjoy being part of a diverse and complicated group of people. Strong relationships are maintained by us when we value the people.

We can never go wrong in taking care of the ones we love. The reward is far greater than the effort. Take steps to take care of what you value. Make the people in your life number one. You will never regret it. Honestly, Janet

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