Expectations

If you have ever read Charles Dickens book Great Expectations you will completely understand what I am talking about today.  Let’s face it, we all come into life with some expectations.  Maybe everyone has different levels of expectations, but they are still there.  They are lying just under our daily thoughts either festering or being nourished.  Some expectations in life are very very small and some are very big.  I was just thinking today but some of the ones I have had over a life time and they were really fun to dream about, like vacations, or pay raises, or being a ballerina or president.  They can be about anything.

Reality

For instance, yesterday I went out to the hen house, opened the lid to my nest box, and reached my hand in, like I always do. I was hoping to find a nice new brown or green egg in the hay. Instead I found a long, shiny, black, skinny snake!  My hand was almost on his head. Boy, were my expectations ever blown away.  I was not looking for a snake that morning, I  was looking for eggs.  I put my hand in fully expecting to gather eggs. My expectations were not fulfilled. See what I mean and guess what?  The snake also had expectations when he went in my hen house!  He thought one of the hens nice new brown eggs would be there, but instead he got a large wooden egg I put in there to discourage the girls from pecking on their real eggs!  When I saw him slither off , the egg was about 2/3 of the way down the inside of his body. Now I have no idea where he ended up, and this is really not the forum for “Save the Snakes” so if that is your thing you may need to read elsewhere.  If I could have killed him I would have, but I could not find him.

The Point

The point is really not about the snake or my expecting to find an egg instead.  It is really about life.  We have expectation about the way things are supposed to be.  Over a lifetime we develop an idea of what life is supposed to look like for us. Maybe I was supposed to go to college, but got pregnant instead.  Maybe I was supposed to grow up in my hometown, but my parents jobs moved us around. Maybe my children were supposed to be perfect and they are not. (I can testify to that one.)  The are so many great expectations we can have that just are not panning out the way they’re supposed to.

Dreams Not Realized

What do you do when the dream is not realized?  What do you do when the plan I am living is not the plan I signed up for? Believe me I have asked myself before, “What was I thinking?” and where the heck am I going?  There is nothing wrong with asking yourself those kind of honest questions.  Do you know that there are a lot of people that have died with unfulfilled dreams.  Yep sure enough it is true.  See if you have ever read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens it is about that very thing.  About a man that had goals and dreams for his life.  He thought about them all the time.  His everyday life was about marching towards that goal.  I am not going to tell if he made it there or not, but I will say that looking forward to it and working towards it and expecting it is part of the fun.

Back to Reality

Is the vacation always as fun as the planning?  Is having the baby as dreamy as the thoughts you had when you were pregnant?  How about this one, is the marriage exactly the way you expected it to be?  I would have to say of course not.  Many times the reality does not meet the expectation.  Why do you think a children’s song by a Disney character was so popular, (Let it Go)  because there are going to be times in life when our expectations do not meet the reality.  The dream and expectation was so big that we will never experience it.  I am saying that yes one day you may reach into the next box and find a snake, a real live snake.  It may not be a python or some other mega species but something that doesn’t meet your expectation.

I am here to remind you that it will be okay.  The loss may feel earth shattering or it may feel very insignificant to others.  What matters most is your reaction to it.  How will I react to the loss of some expectation that I had?  You are going to face this problem one day.  How you look at the loss will dictate how you respond.  Think about it now when the stress is not too high.  Think about it now when the longing and desire is still just that.  Think about how you will react when your expectation is not meet the way you wanted it to be.  How am I going to respond?  Am I going to say, it’s okay.  I can live with this.  There will be other things to look forward to.  In five years will my expectation even be worth remembering or thinking about.  Will anyone even care about this in five years, will I care?  Life is a journey and full of a lot of short trips.  Try to enjoy some of it.  Don’t let your own great expectations trip you up and disappoint you.   Honestly, Janet