Digital Products Or Not That is the Question?
What do our children really need from us?
Digital products or not that is really the question? Maybe a few years ago the question was different, but now is the pervasive nature of digital products in our homes and whether our children should have them or not.
Sunday we ate at a restaurant on the way home from Durham, NC. It was a family-style restaurant and there were a lot of families there.
Praying For Your Children
We were waiting for our food and just people watching. In came a sweet family with the mom and two little boys. The boys were, maybe, 8 and 5. They looked like they had just left church.
Children fascinate me, so, I watched them for a minute or two. After the water seated them they never took their coats off. The mom took her phone out and started scrolling through it. Now, I didn’t think too much about that, but then I watched the boys.
Both of the children also had digital products. One pulled out an Ipad and the younger pulled out a Kindle. Now, I just want to clarify something here, I let my children watch plenty of television. They also owned computer games, Gameboys, and Playstations. We were a house that had access to those types of games. I am not opposed to the electronic world for children.
SO wHAT, RIGHT? dIGITAL pRODUCTS AREN’T BAD
What bothered me the most was the loss of opportunity this mom let go by her. As I watched that family waiting for their food there was NO interaction between them. It made me feel very very sad.
Why did I feel so sad about this?
Well, what exactly had this mom lost in sitting at a table with her two boys for an hour or two?
She lost the chance to teach them about manners, kindness, menus, money, ordering what you want. The chance to talk about what they learned at church that morning was also gone. She missed the chance to find out what their favorite foods are and whether they have ever had sweet potatoes or grits.
I am telling you right now, time is precious and you can never get it back. Moments that are not about discipline or homework are few and far between, so eating and being in a non-threatening environment is precious.
See, teaching your family is not only the moments in front of a textbook, or sitting down doing some kind of lessons together. Honestly, the best teaching comes from the quiet times when they are watching you and the memorable moments shared together.
a good thing
Digital products for your children are not always a bad thing, sometimes they are a really good thing.
We used to live in Mt. Home, Idaho. My family is from South Carolina. We used to make the trip from Mt. Home to Spartanburg, SC every few years. It was a long drive and I remember my brother and I getting in trouble for clicking the ashtray in the door over and over.
Now I probably lost some of you there, because cars do not have ashtrays in the doors anymore, but, just imagine any 2300 mile drive with your children on opposite sides of the car “clicking” metal the entire way. Annoying to say the least right?
My mother used to buy us brand new coloring books, things to read and puzzle books. How much more pleasant would that trip have been if we had an iPad or kids Kindle. It would have been a game-changer.
Let’s face it, there are times that using a digital product can be good. Just for the entertainment value, it can be wonderful and we as parents are given the opportunity to choose when, where and how long we allow our children to be entertained by their digital products.
I can certainly see the benefit of adding an iPad or other types of media to your trips. Just some simple entertainment can be a good thing.
Learning can be done on digital products. Fun games that are age-appropriate can be great for kids.
I love the new term for this generation of children, digital natives. ” A digital native is someone who was raised in a digital, media-saturated world.” Kate Moron talks about this new term in the linked article.
No one knows the whole story of how our children or grandchildren are going to be affected by a digitally saturated world, but guess what, no one knew how television was going to affect our world either.
What really matters
Whether you believe your children should use a tablet for entertainment, fun or learning is not the discussion here. What really matters is when you use it and how.
We are all guilty of spending too much time on our phones and computers. Yesterday I was on my phone scrolling or trolling, whichever phrase you like. I was just killing time, nothing wrong with that, but after my Grandaughter said the same thing to me three times I realized she was trying to show me something.
I was so focused on my phone that I could hear her, but I was not listening to her. This moment may not have been important but it could have been.
When kids using digital products becomes a bad thing
So, when does using a digital product become a bad thing? Here is where parenting comes in. You are the one to decide this for your family. In today’s world, we are armed with information at our fingertips.
As the adult in the family, it is your job to interpret that information and makes some judgment calls about how and when you are going to allow digital media in your home.
Somethings you probably don’t want to do are, give unlimited time to access their tablets. I have found with my grandkids that they will stay on my smartphone for hours if I will let them.
They also know more about what is on there and how to get to it than I do. Being a digital native does have it’s advantages. So limiting their time and exposure is a good thing. Unsupervised the computer can become a bad thing.
Things you can not teach on digital media
There are just some things you can not teach on a computer or iPad. You can’t teach manners or how to hold the door open for an elderly person. You can’t teach kindness or the way you feel after helping someone carry their groceries in.
It is difficult to pass on so many things through a smartphone, like the way fresh cut grass smells or how many seeds are in a watermelon.
The best time to teach those kinds of things is at the moment. So allowing your children to use digital products is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can cause you to miss some very teachable moments.
“They haven’t used it,” he told me. “We limit how much technology our kids use at home.”
Steve Jobs
Even Steve Jobs limits the use of the internet for his children. Now he is the creator of Apple. So, that being said, use your wisdom and take some precautions for digital media usage.
Don’t ever be afraid to be a parent. You have your children’s best interest at heart. Even the mom I mentioned earlier may have been having a very bad day. She may have needed to eat her lunch in peace and decided now was the perfect time to let her boys use their iPads.
We all have days like that, right? Just remember, you are the parent. Your child will learn the most important lessons of life from you. Keep that in mind and be cautious with the amount of time they spend on their computers.
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